Spring Break

This post is going to start really heavy, but I promise it will lighten up.  For the past couple of weeks something has been weighing heavily on my mind, it is not a light subject and so I haven’t been particularly eager to spread the sadness I’ve been feeling.  A friend that I’ve been close with for a very long time (going on about 15 years now) and who is a mutual friend of Clayton and me was in a terrible motorcycle accident.  The beautiful thing is that he survived and I will get to hug him again.  The horrible thing is that he has a long, hard road of recovery ahead of him with three broken vertebrae and a completely shattered pelvis.  He has other injuries that he hasn’t become aware of yet that will be devastating and so I will save that for him to cope with before I share it with my world.  My friend is the kind of person that lights up the room and is the life of the party; you can’t help but smile when you think of the times that you’ve shared with him.  So of course I’ve been thinking about the good times we’ve had together and it makes me laugh and it makes me really sad at the same time.  A friend of ours asked me to go through old photographs and send them to her so she could make a poster to remind him of all the good times and people that are pulling for him.  Going through old photos is really fun especially when you’ve had as much fun as I’ve had with as good of friends as I have.  However, going through old pictures can also make you long for those times when you were care free and about 15 pounds skinnier.  The timing of pining for my lost youth could not have been worse since the past couple of weeks have also been Spring Break and there has been an influx of young people at the beach.  The spring breakers didn’t make me quite as nostalgic as photos of my former self, but I could definitely remember what those kids were feeling.  

I should start off by saying that Jacksonville beaches aren't the college hotspots like Panama City, but rather the family vacation spot and thus a younger more vulnerable crowd. While sitting on the beach watching young boys and girls walk up and down the shoreline I could see them beaming with the anticipation of meeting the beauty/beau that they might go to first base with and I remember that innocence and excitement. However, I also remember the insecurity that comes with being a teenager in a bikini and I absolutely DO NOT miss that.  It’s enough being an insecure teenager in school clothes, but spring break at the beach takes it to a whole other level.  I found myself wanting to tell these young girls that they are beautiful and this is the best time in their lives to be confident in themselves.  Okay, so those were my motherly afternoon special thoughts.  What I was really thinking is “you should be happy that you can wear that bikini, if I wore it my C-section scar would show”.  What it really boils down to is that remembering these feelings and the subsequent thoughts made me feel old.  Which is a special feeling that is unique to Spring Break since 95% of my time is spent trying not to look like a teen mom.  I guess not a whole lot has changed.  Now, I’m an insecure mom trying to convince myself that once the spring breakers leave I can wear a two piece because if the 80 year-old sack of leather can pull her top down to sun her chest then I can sun my soft tummy that carried this ray of sunshine:

Speaking of Ella, we have enrolled her in Montessori school which will start in September and in the meantime she will be going to daycare three days a week.  This is a win-win because I will get some much needed time for myself and Ella will get to play with other kids.  The Montessori class that she will be in is for 18 months to 3 years old and they call it the “Toddler Community” which Clayton and I find hilarious and a bit ridiculous.  We are pretty sure Ella will become mayor of the Toddler Community.  Other than that, there isn’t a whole lot going on with us and I’m just fine with that. 

If you are a praying person please keep my friend, Nathan, in your prayers.  If you’re not a praying person please keep him in your thoughts.  And, more importantly, appreciate the simple things.  They are the most beautiful things in life and the most easily taken for granted.  

Beach Baby

Ella and I have been to the beach a few times and each time I’m getting better at realizing/remembering what would make the excursions better.  For instance, last time we went to the beach her diaper got wet splashing in the ocean and it was, go figure, really sunny.  So, I decided next time I should bring a swim diaper and a sun hat.  Today, we got to the beach and I took inventory of all the items that were surely going to make our lives better: water cup with straw that folds into lid-check, water for me-check, snack for Ella-check, bubbles and beach toys-check, swim diaper-check, sun hat and sunscreen for reapplication-shit, on the kitchen table.  Next time I’ll do better.

There is one thing I NEVER do better and don’t actually think about until I’m at the beach and that is my own personal hygiene.  Now, usually all I have to worry about is whether or not I look like a free spirit going au natural in the underarm region, but today I decided to wear my bathing suit (read: take my pants off).  See, the past couple of times we’ve been to the beach it was February and it just seemed silly to put on a bathing suit. As you can imagine I panicked a little when it became quite obvious that I had not shaved my legs in well over a month.  Apparently, I hadn’t put lotion on in quite some time either because my skin had a grayish tint to it.  The picture running through my mind was that scene from the Sex in the City Movie when Miranda shows up in her bikini quite unkempt in the nether region.  Luckily, I’m not a hairy person and I’m physically incapable of looking like that but I definitely wondered. In the hour and a half that we spent on the beach there were quite a few rationalizations that I ran through as to why it was okay for me to stay and not immediately pack up and head out.  It went something like this:  First, I have the cutest leg covering in all of the world, seen here:

 Second, my legs are so pale they reflect light and you can’t actually look directly at them.  In my defense, it is the beginning of March so they have been covered for… well over a year.  You thought I was going to say all winter, but nope, I don’t think they’ve seen the sun since before Ella was born.  I accidentally captured a glimpse of the top of my thigh in a picture I took and it could easily be mistaken for the underbelly of a dolphin or the leg of a corpse, it had a blue-ish tint.  So sexy.  

 Third, as long as I just rub sand all over my legs you won’t be able to tell the difference between being sandy and being hairy, SUCCESS!  Note: this works best for blondes, unless you’re at a black sand beach. 

And finally I thought, I don’t know anyone in this town and when I do meet a friend that happened to be at the beach on this particular day, I will deny that it was me.  However, I will recall seeing the disgusting lady with the blinding thighs and adorable baby and will note how well prepared they seemed for the beach.

So we stayed, and Ella was by far the cutest thing on the beach; she left her sunglasses on the whole time and melted hearts all afternoon.  She is a serious chick magnet.  If you’re into old women, that is, and I totally am.  You never know what kind of baked goods you can get out of a relationship with an older woman.  But, seriously, we made friends with the elderly lady sitting on the beach next to us who looked like a wrinkled sack of leather.  I know that is harsh but I have no doubt that you are now getting an adequate picture of the kind of sun damage that was going on to the south of us.  Anyway, we talked about the usual stuff- Ella is a year, she’s not walking on her own, etc…then she told me that Ella was really pale and asked if I had put sunscreen on her.  WTF?  I know she was being sweet and concerned but really it was like the mascot for skin cancer was trying to teach me a lesson on the dangers of the sun. 

My notes for next time: remember to bring the sunhat and extra sunscreen, teach Ella stranger danger, and it seems like I’m forgetting something…   

Ella is one!

Now, I'm going to be honest, I don't have a lot to say for this post, but I really need an excuse to post a birthday photo, so here it goes...This past weekend my baby turned 1 year old.  This is both sad and exciting as it means that she is moving away from being a baby and into a little girl.  The theme of her party was 'Pinwheels and Bubbles' complete with tons of pinwheels and a bubble machine. Kind of.   The bubble machine that I bought on Amazon seemed to be made in some one's garage from used parts somewhere in Asia.  The instructions for use, or 'instructions for used', as they were titled, were clearly translated to English.  And by 'English' I mean that the words were identifiable English words but did not actually form sentences. The one rule that was very clear was that you were NOT to get bubble solution on the motor.  So, of course, just before the party we spilled bubble solution on the motor.  Regardless, the party was great!  Ella is very lucky to have such a big family and so many wonderful people in her life.

For the two weeks leading up to Ella's birthday I have been asking Clayton everyday if he can believe that she is turning one and I'm sure he is excited that her birthday has come and gone so that I'll stop being quite so annoying.  In any case, I still can't believe it.  The first couple of months of a baby's life feel like a year in itself, but then time just starts flying by and you don't know where it has gone.  Next thing you know you've given up your career and business casual for singing Old MacDonald for the 1000th time and a pureed pea laden cardigan that probably hasn't been washed in a few months.  What I should have been asking Clayton is this question, which my sister-in-law sent to me in a picture: "What do you understand today about your life that you did not understand a year ago?" I know that I don't even know where to begin.  So instead I'll just leave you with this:

       

**Update**

A quick update on the previous post, and further evidence that we did, in fact, move to the 90's.  There is a CompUSA that just opened and the two closest work out facilities to me are World Gym and Jazzercise.